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By MICHAEL PHILIPS As part of our jobs -- she's a paginator and I'm an assistant editor at the Journal -- Khanh Lao and I have communicated by email for almost two years. But it was only after I met her in person at an informal gathering in Princeton, N.J., in November that I learned she was deaf. At the party, we were able to communicate by writing notes back and forth, but it was clearly awkward and time-consuming. If we wanted to continue hanging out, either she was going to have to learn to hear or I was going to have to learn to sign. At first, I admit, I thought it was going to be easy. I breezed through learning the alphabet in about a half hour (not overly concerned that I would constantly confuse T and R when I tried to fingerspell). I had the signs for "God Bless America," "Happy Birthday" and "Merry Christmas" (which looks suspiciously like "Happy Christmas" to me) down cold the first night. Then I got adventurous: I bought an abridged sign dictionary, several textbooks and a couple of sets of flash cards. There are no reliable surveys of how many people use American Sign Language, the method of conversation employed most often by deaf people in the U.S. and the English-speaking parts of Canada. Estimates of those people who use it as their primary language in the U.S. range from 500,000 to two million, according to Gallaudet University, a college for the deaf and hard of hearing in Washington, D.C. Some experts say that it is the fourth-most-common language in the States, after English, Spanish and Chinese. In total, as many as 13 million people, deaf and hearing, use sign language for some communication. Becoming one of those 13 million has been slow going. I'd say I know about 500 or so signs, but I must have forgotten several times that many, since I don't get to use them very often. Heaven only knows why I can remember the word for "wisdom," but what can I do with that? Sure, I can say, "Your wisdom makes me smile," or something equally childish-sounding, but I may be years away from being able to relate the story of Solomon. I also know the word for slavery, but I'm not nearly skillful enough to discuss the Civil War. And as useful as fingerspelling is -- and often necessary, as some English words have no signs -- it is an arduous process. In the time it took to explain that a friend of mine goes to a N-O-N-D-E-N-O-M-I-N-A-T-I-O-N-A-L church, he could have converted. But I trudge forward. I had my first real chance to see how much I had learned earlier this month at Deaf and Hard of Hearing Awareness Day at Six Flags amusement park in Jackson, N.J. There were about 6,000 participants this year, according to the theme park. And though I had been advised by books that it was rude to follow the signs of others if you aren't involved in the conversation, I couldn't help watching. After all my hard work, though, I was able to understand only a few words here and there. Thanks to her patience, though, Ms. Lao and I were able to have fairly involved conversations without the use of paper and pen. Progress! Some day, I hope soon, I'll reach a point where I can't teach myself any further and will need to take actual classes. For now, the textbooks will have to suffice. If you're looking for a recommendation, I should say that "Teach Yourself American Sign Language in 24 Hours" thoroughly overbilled itself. "Signing Everyday Phrases" might be useful for someone just needing to learn a few sentences, but the examples do not follow the grammar of ASL. One prominent misconception about American Sign Language is that it is merely English with signs replacing words. ASL actually has its own structure. The grammar of sign language is easier in some cases. Signs for verbs remain the same, no matter their tense, for instance. But other aspects are more difficult. Facial expressions, body and head movements, and sign placement all play important grammatical roles. A furrowed brow or puckered lips can alter the meaning of a sentence. People conversing in spoken language often use their hands or the volume of their voice to accent a point. In sign, since the hands are already quite busy and one can't very well sign more loudly or softly, a signer may widen his eyes or squint, move his head forward dramatically or draw his head back slowly to convey a sense of passion, urgency or lack of interest. Of course ASL isn't about miming, either, but I'm sure it will come in handy the next time I play charades. No foray into another language is complete without learning some of the pitfalls that one may face when conversing with a native speaker. For example, be careful when signing "coffee," or else you may unwittingly make an unwanted sexual advance. Mr. Philips is the assistant features editor of the Journal's Leisure & Arts page.
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