Naomi Hess sits on a rooftop in a power wheelchair with the Washington Monument in the background. She is smiling, wearing dark sunglasses.
It is a difficult time to be a disabled person in America. In the past two weeks alone, special education and community integration, two of the most important systems that allow people with disabilities to thrive at home and in their communities, have faced monumental threats at the federal level. Disabled people who are multiply marginalized, like people of color, immigrants, and queer people, encounter repeated attacks on their intersectional identities.
During this time in which it is so easy to feel despondent, the strength of the disability community makes me remain hopeful for a better future. A few years ago, AAPD President and CEO Maria Town helped popularize a social media movement called #DisabledLoveIsBeautiful. As Disability Pride Month begins in July, it is even more important to recognize how the disabled people in my life have been the greatest source of love and community I could ever imagine.
For much of my childhood, I didn’t know many other people with disabilities. I was often one of the only disabled people in mainstream education in my public school. I made many of my first disabled friends at sleepaway camp, particularly Muscular Dystrophy Association summer camp. Being surrounded by other kids with disabilities made me realize I was not alone. My wheelchair no longer made me stand out; instead, it made me fit in.
My early experiences at summer camp made me crave other opportunities to be surrounded by disabled people. But it wasn’t until college that I became deeply engaged in disability advocacy and community building through working at Princeton University’s AccessAbility Center and leading a student government committee to improve campus accessibility. These efforts showed me what’s possible when people with disabilities join forces to fight for inclusion.
The most life-changing disability community experience I’ve ever had was participating in AAPD’s Summer Internship Program in 2021. My internship program was completely remote because of COVID-19, and the fact that I’ve developed such incredible friendships demonstrates how online community building must be preserved as a crucial and accessible way for disabled people to meet each other.
It has been five years since my time in the program, but my friends from the program are still some of my closest friends today. These friends inspire me day in and day out in the way that they are committed to disability justice and also committed to supporting me. I have a group chat with some friends from the internship who are often the first people I turn to when I want to vent about some disability-related experience or need advice about everything from dealing with accessibility barriers to navigating my love life as a disabled woman. This is platonic love in the truest sense of the word.
Speaking of love, for the first time in my life, I’m in a romantic relationship with another disabled person. The pure acceptance and compassion my boyfriend has shown me have been transformative in how I navigate the world. It’s almost like he’s rewired my brain without even trying by loving me for my disability, not in spite of it. I think I’m doing the same for him. We help each other with tasks related to our disabilities and otherwise, because that’s what true love is. I am so incredibly grateful to have a partner who just gets me in such a profound way.
Even professionally here at AAPD, I’m surrounded by amazing disabled people who are united by our love for each other and dedication to the mission of disability justice. Especially after I’ve had challenges getting workplace accommodations granted at previous jobs, it is so freeing to work in an environment in which my coworkers understand what it is like to have a disability. I wake up excited to go to work every day because I know my coworkers and I are making a difference.
All of my experiences being in community with other disabled people have shown me that I am not alone. None of us are. If love means showing up for each other and supporting each other through the good times and the bad, there has never been a more important time for disabled love than the current moment.
Disabled love can’t make all the challenges of today’s political environment go away. But it can keep us going and remind us what we are fighting for: a more inclusive future rooted in equity, justice, and accessibility for all. Now is the time to seek out disability community. Make time to see your friends, volunteer for nonprofits and mutual aid organizations, and donate money if you can. You can make a difference in your own way just by showing up for the disabled people around you. AAPD will continue to elevate disabled love, community, and pride in July and every month.